My Last Medevac

Well, I'm sorry that I left you hanging once again. I am now back home in Guam. Unlike last time, this was a planned return for me. I really appreciate all of the support I received while I was back in the desert.

I had a unique experience on what turned out to be one of my last medevacs. We got called on to take off just before midnight and didn't finish the mission until 5AM. That was one thing we had to be prepared for out there was flying through the night. It didn't happen often, but it did happen. So here are the totals for my time in the desert:

I flew 43 medevacs.
I crossed into Iraq 25 times.
I flew a total of nearly 200 pilot hours in Kuwait and Iraq.

I'm not sure where I'll be heading next, but it promises to be an adventure.

Say Hello To My (Other) Little Friend

So far I've blogged about the very scary camel spiders out here and the very deadly fat-tailed scorpions. Well, just when I thought that I had seen all the nightmares this place had to offer, one of the pilots found this little guy:

That, dear friends is known as a Sahara Sand Viper. There's nothing to really get an idea as to scale, but he's about a foot long. Want to know where he was? Well, see the tile floor that he's sitting on in the bottom picture? That's the bathroom floor inside the squadron spaces. The one I walk into several times each night when I am on alert. Wearing my flip-flops. The little guy decided to coil up next to the trash can. I have no idea how long he had been there when he was found, but he was quite alive and not really happy to be the subject of so much attention. He was striking at any and every thing that was in the general area. Including open air. Happily, the ever-reliable Wikipedia says that the bites are painful but not particularly life-threatening. I wasn't really anxious to find out.

On a side note, also according to Wikipedia, the formation that he's got himself coiled into is so that he can rub his scales together and make a rattle-type sound as a warning to stay away. I'll have to take their word for it because I didn't hear anything, but it could just be that he was too small to be heard. We trapped him in a box, covered every hole with duct tape, and called in animal control who came out today to remove him. We also wrote "Deadly Snake! Do not open by order of the XO!" on the box, lest someone think that it was a present for them and decide to see what their mommies had sent them.

Say Hello to my Little Friend

Well, last night at about 10PM one of our chiefs told me that they had found something. I went into the office to find this guy sitting in a bucket:

Turns out that this is an "Arabian Fat-Tailed Scorpion". Not a very nice little bugger, either. Here's a bit more information on him:

http://www.centralpets.com/animals/insects/scorpions/scp4079.html

I was surprised to find all that on a pets website. Sounds like a wonderful little companion, eh. I can assure you that when I took the picture he was quite alive and not really happy about the general turn his life had taken. I'm no advocate of killing things just to kill them, but we did kill this guy rather than try to release him. We couldn't figure out a way to travel the requisite 150 miles we all decided would be a comfortable distance to have between us and him. We also found an article about an entimologist (ironically enough) that got stung by one of these one night here at Camp Beuhring. Within an hour he had lapsed into a coma. The best part is that we found him on the sidewalk outside our squadron spaces. An area I frequently transit while I'm sleeping here on alerts with nothing more substantial on my feet than flip-flops. I will say that I transited quite a bit more gingerly last night. You can't really get a good sense of scale, but that guy was about the 4" max that the website advertises.

In other news, I received my first Air Medal yesterday. To read the citation you would think that I was Chuck Norris single-handedly winning the war on terror. Not really true. Others help.

Back To the Blog

So I should probably begin by apologizing for the extremely long time that has elapsed since my last post. I have been busily studying up to get my Helicopter Aircraft Commander qualification. Apart from getting our wings, making Aircraft Commander is the most important qual that we get as pilots.

In order to become HACs, we have to undergo a HAC Board with the XO and all the department heads available. They started out by asking me several questions about the aircraft, flight rules, squadron procedures and other related knowledge. After that is done they took turns giving me several scenarios designed to test my judgement and decision making capabilities when presented with emergencies in various missions that I may be called upon to fly. After everybody had asked their questions, they had me step out into the hallway so they could deliberate my fate. Then they called me back in and the XO informed me that I had passed my board. So now I am fully qualified to command a mission in an MH-60S.

I also passed one other milestone back on May 1st when I was promoted to full Lieutenant (O-3). So now I have two silver bars on my collar (actually, they're on my shoulders in my flight suit) instead of one. It also meant a pretty sizeable raise, which is really what I was looking forward to with the promotion.

A couple of posts ago I talked about buying fake watches out in town. Well, as kind of a reward for my promotion and making HAC, I decided to purchase the real thing. One of my buddies back home was puting together an order with Omega for their Speedmaster X-33. http://www.omegawatches.com/index.php?id=297&details=1&ref=32915000&no_cache=1
Omega only sells them on a special-order basis at an extremely discounted price to military pilots or astronauts. As part of the sale, I had to enter into a contract with Omega stating that I would not resell the watch within the first five years of owning it. Since they're a special production watch built after the order is received, the case-back will have my wings as well as my name and Naval Aviator number engraved on the back of it. One major drawback to that is that I now get to wait 3-6 months to receive my prize.

As far as medevacs go, since my last post I flew 9 Medevacs evacuating 10 patients. A few of those had me on the other side of the border. I don't really have any updated photos to put on here, but I should get some before too long and I will post them then.

In other news, Tricia and I are planning to travel back home to the states after I leave here. We'll be flying in to see my dad in Seattle and then driving our way cross-country to Dallas to visit her parents with stops in Utah along the way to visit other family. It promises to be quite the adventure.

Well, thank all of you for your patience with my blog and how bad I've been at returning emails lately. I'll try to be a bit more regular with it from here on out.

The Insect Invasion

I forgot to mention that last week we had a bit of an insect invasion. They were everywhere. In our rooms, our clothes, even in the aircraft. Unfortunately the insects in question happened to be ladybugs. By the thousands. I say it's unfortunate because, as annoying as it is to constantly have to kill bugs that get into your house, it's worse with ladybugs. Nobody wanted to kill them. Instead we took about five times as long to try to carefully take them outside and release them to the wild. It was crazy. I just don't think that I could have looked Michenna in the eye knowing that I had intentionally squashed a ladybug. I wasn't alone. There were about two people in the entire place willing to just eliminate them. I guess I've got to sign on with the ladybugs' PR reps.

Tagging

I noticed that Tricia had filled out this little questionaire on our family blog and figured that I should follow suit here. I'm pretty sure that there is more to it than this, but I'm stuck here at the squadron for a couple more hours and need something to do so here you go:

How I met my wife:
[I] walked up to [her] at church ([she] was a single mom at the time) and said, “So, are you divorced, or is she an ‘oops baby’?” [She] was so shocked at [my] bluntness that [she] kept talking to [me]. It was a lousy pick-up line, but [I] like to point out that it worked.
(I would like to thank Tricia for that answer. The truth is that I was stuck between that "pick-up line" and "Gee, you shure got a purdy mouth." In retrospect, I'm really glad I went with what I did.

Favorite Vacation:
I'm assuming that my little 3-hour tour of the desert here doesn't count. Actually I really liked our Hong Kong vacation we took last Christmas. It's nice to do that while Michenna is at such a fun age.

If I had a million dollars...:
I would buy you a green dress (but not a real green dress, that's cruel).

Favorite Movie:
Well, this is a pretty tough one. I think that I would have to go with "Shawshank Redemption" for now. Great flick!

Something that scares me:
Well, I got a new one out here recently. One of our corpsmen was kind enough to find a camel spider and stick its (thankfull dead) body on top of our duty desk. This was a small one (about 2 inches), but I'm quite certain that if I see one that is alive and close up I will no doubt wet myself and cry like a little school girl for weeks. Go to www.camelspiders.net to see the little buggers for yourself.

Something you may not know about me:
I'm actually kind of a sucker for sappy 80's love songs. Foreigner, Journey, etc.

Something you may not know about Tricia:
She'd probably slap me if I told you.

The last movie I watched:
Beverly Hills Cop II

Something that reminds me of home:
The picture that Michenna drew of our family which is still hanging up on the fridge in my trailer.

Most painful experience:
One word: epididymitis. I will leave it at that.

One of my biggest accomplishments:
I got a "Great Job!" sticker with a star and everything on a spelling quiz in first grade.

Something funny that happened recently:
We flew up to a camp in Iraq and inquired about getting fuel there. We were informed that they had fuel available, but it was self-service. So we sent one of our crewmen over to check it out. He came back and told us that he couldn't figure it out because the tank "had all this British writing on it." One of the other pilots said "British? You mean English?" "Yeah."

Well, there you go. I hope that you all feel like you know me better now. By the way, I've had a few people tell me that they are having problems locating my email address. The easiest way to get a hold of me out here is to send stuff to mykuwaitblog@gmail.com . I check that email several times a day.

Out in Town and Other Ramblings

I forgot to mention that I've had a few opportunities to go out into town over the last few weeks. It really is nice down in Kuwait City. It's a very metropolitan city. There are a couple of Malls down there that we really like to go walk around in and a few restaurants as well. A few weeks ago I ate lunch at The Hard Rock Cafe. It was just about like any other Hard Rock I've ever been to, with one major exception. Kuwait is a dry country so therefore the Hard Rock here serves no alchohol. None. We all ordered Red Bull cocktails which is about as close as they come. I was able to buy a couple of shirts for Michenna and Tricia while I was there.

The real draw to going out in town, however, seems to be Ali the watch guy. Actually now Ali has left and Hussein has taken over but the idea is the same. Ali sells watches which, purely by coincedence, happen to look a lot like brand name watches. We call them "Faux" watches. I'll admit that I purchased a couple of watches from him. I got a faux-mega for myself. The James Bond edition, no less (see below). I also got matchin F-ag Heuer watches for Tricia and me. I don't have photos of those. Unfortunately, I quickly noticed that both of my watches were running slow (thankfully not Tricia's) so I took them back to Ali and he immediately swapped them out for new ones. You've gotta admire a guy who is willing to stand behind his fake watches.

As was alluded to by my brother's comment on the last posting, in about a week my single silver bar will multiply into the two silver bars of a Lieutenant in the Navy. I'm pretty excited. It doesn't mean a whole lot as far as duties here are concerned, but it does make me no longer stand out as a new guy quite so much. It also means a pretty substantial pay raise, which is never a bad thing.

Life here in the desert is about the same as always. I haven't really flown that much since my last posting. I did a couple of medevacs but that's about it. I've included a couple of photos from my flights. Enjoy.

Here is the James Bond edition Omega Speedmaster that I bought from Ali. There are several drawbacks to owning a fake watch. However, in this case there are also about 5000 advantages.

Here I am sitting on deck in Tallil, Iraq. My eyes look a little blood-shot and I'd love to say that it was because I had been crying, sensitive guy that I am. Unfortunately, the truth is just that it is hotter than he...an oven...in the cockpit and I haven't yet figured out a decent way to stop the sweat from dripping into my eyes.

Here's a shot I took of the back of the helicopter while we were flying over Iraq. You can see our corpsman showing some love. In Hong Kong, I noticed that a lot of people liked to make the peace sign in pictures. Everyone here (the Americans) seems to really like the UT Horns or the I love you sign. Must be a cultural thing.

Hard at work while on alert the other night. As you can see I am taking great care to hone my cat-like reflexes for when I fly. In this case we set up Guitar Hero in our squadron spaces and I proceded to get absolutely destroyed by some of our crewmen.

Another picture of me getting my can whooped by one of our crewmen. I just like this picture because it shows "Screamin' Joe" living up to his call sign.

I'm a Lousy "Keeper of the Blog"

Well, here I am nearly two weeks since my last post. Again, it isn't that nothing has happened in the last two weeks, it's just that I'm a neglectful blog keeper. Thankfully, Tricia has been doing an awesome job of keeping the family blog http://wherearetheallens.blogspot.com/ . The pictures of her and Michenna are much better looking than anything I have here, anyway.

In the last two weeks, I've flown 4 Medevacs, including two into Iraq. The only really interesting patient we had was a guy listed as "Urgent" (the 2nd-highest priority we have) with chest pains. So we landed at the pad to pick him up and a few minutes later I see him walking out to the aircraft carrying his own bag. Those chest pains must have been pretty severe.

We also took part in a much-beloved semi-annual Naval tradition known as a PRT. PRT stands for Physical Readiness Test. It consists of sit-ups, push-ups, and a 1.5 mile run to check and make sure that we are within standards of physical fitness. This year was made especially exciting when the person in charge of laying out the 1.5 mile run course used his GPS to drive exactly .75 miles away from the starting point and declaring that as our turn-around spot. The problem was that he failed to account for the fact that his GPS was giving him straight-line distance while the course was laid out over a couple of curving roads. It turned out to be the longest mile-and-a-half that any of us have ever run. Unfortunately for me, my stress fractures that I picked up at Officer Candidate School flared up once again after the run and I have now been told by our flight doc that my distance-running days are over. Swimming, anyone?

Last night we had a no kidding thunderstorm come through. This wasn't one of those "Is that thunder? I think I felt a raindrop." type of storms. It was a full blown sky falling "Who are those four guys and where'd they get those horses?" type of storm. There were even tornadoes reported in Kuwait City (30 miles south of here). We all felt lucky to be spared the tornadoes, especially seeing as how we live in trailer parks and everyone knows that tornadoes are attracted to trailer parks. When it wasn't pouring rain, it was nice to go outside and watch the light show. Obviously, we weren't flying. There's an old Aviation saying (I don't remember who said it. Check that. It's attributed to a sign at Davis-Monthan AFB. Thank you, Google) that says "There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime." All right, I'll grant you that this isn't really peacetime, but I'm not really keen on testing the turbulence resistance of my aircraft anytime soon. I ended up getting caught in a downpour on my way back from dinner, which wasn't really pleasant, but overall the storm was a nice diversion from the norm out here.

Today I am on the 1st Up alert. It's a beautiful day outside. So of course I haven't launched yet. Maybe later.

Here's just a random photo of the "conquering heroes" returning home after a trip to Iraq. You can tell that we were in Iraq because most of us (except for me) are carrying our M-16s. I promise you, we only take the things flying with us when we have to. I'm the one 2nd from the right. It's a small picture.

Almost 2 Weeks Later...

All right, so I've been seriously neglecting my blog lately. Like I said before, time is going by pretty fast right now. I apologize for that. I'll have to look on the LAN and see if I can come up with some decent photos to post here to make up for it.

First, for the update on flights I've done since my last entry.

On the 19th we transported a patient with a detached retina from the hospital down south to the air force base so that he could get evac'd to Germany. Fortunately, I won't be including any photos of that on here.

Earlier this week I got to fly into Iraq for a training mission. We flew into Basrah Air Base, but this time we just did a low approach. If that name sounds familiar to you it's because it is now in the middle of what's being dubbed "The Battle of Basrah". That's where all of the pictures I posted a couple of weeks ago were taken.

I also got the chance to go into Kuwait City a couple of times last week. I ate dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe Kuwait City. It was great! Actually, looking around the area we could have just as easily been in Miami. It was nice to be outside of the fenceline, even if it was just for an afternoon. I took the opportunity to go to Ali the watch dealer and buy a couple of watches that just happen to bear a striking resemblence to the James Bond edition Omega and the Tiger Woods edition Tag-Heuer. We call him the faux-lex dealer.

Earlier this week we had a pretty serious sand storm here. Here's a view during the height of it when the visibility dropped to less than 1/8 of a mile.Here's looking the other way toward the tower which is less than 200 yards away. Needless to day, we don't fly when it looks like this.

I found this picture on the LAN. I'm not sure when it was taken. I think that's aircraft number 32 that their working on. I thought it was a pretty cool photo.

Birthday

Well, my birthday was last Friday. The answer to whether or not I did anything special is no. I really didn't. It was a fairly standard work day. I was on alert as the 4th up co-pilot but did not fly. I appreciate all of the birthday wishes and packages that I received. So now I'm thirty and have to stop making fun of Tricia for being in her thirties while I was still in my twenties.

The other night I broke out the M&Ms that Tricia had sent me for Valentine's Day. They were all green (of course) with cute little love messages on them. All was going well until I started reading the messages and found the usual assortment of sayings: "Wow!, Oh Boy!, XXXOO, Give me a Kiss, etc." Then I realized that a lot of the "Wow!" ones were sent without the exclamation point. At least I hope that's what happened because if you turn them upside down they say "Mom" which lends an entirely different and infinitely more disturbing spin to them. I had to double check the packaging to make sure that I hadn't accidently gotten the "Special Oedipus edition" candies.

As promised, here are a couple of photos of my infamous Bahrain outfit. I think I'm quite styling. I should dress like this more often.

Operation MySpace

Before I get to Operation MySpace, I did have two medevacs since the last post. The first one was last Thursday when we flew as the wing aircraft of a two-bird formation that went into Iraq to pick up a patient. It was a really uneventful flight except that it was really dark, even on goggles. That was a planned hop so we had plenty of notice to plan for it.

The second medevac came at about 10PM on Saturday night while I was sitting in my PT gear watching "The Shield". That was certainly not pre-planned. I had to run to my room, quickly throw on my flight suit and then run out to the aircraft. Thankfully, it was just evac'ing a soldier from here to the hospital down south. Another dark night, but I've flown that route enough to do it in my sleep.

As for "Operation MySpace", it was one of the coolest and most humbling things I've seen since I've been out here. MySpace.com paid to hold a massive concert out here at Camp Buehring and then webcast it around the world along with celebrities messages about supporting the troops. We didn't get to see the videos of the messages, but we could hear the audio. The three top presidential candidates were among the ones who sent messages. I'll probably discuss my political views in some later post, but for now I will say that two of the candidates' messages were met by boo's.

Anyway, so the concert involved Carlos Mencia (from Comedy Central's "Mind of Mencia"), Filter, Disturbed, Pussycat Dolls (Dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me), Jessica Simpson, and a couple of others. They were all here at Camp Buehring. The coolest part about it is that the groups were here the day before the concert and were totally accessible. We even got a couple of the groups over looking at our helicopters. Here are a couple of pictures. I'll put some more up here later after I get them from the people who took them.

This is all of us with Carlos Mencia. I've got another one of just me and him, but I'll have to get it later. I have a pretty insane look on my face, but I was going on the better part of 30 hours of being awake at that point so it's understandable. Of course, this picture is pretty small so you can't even see my face. I'm on the left side toward the back next to the blonde with sunglasses.

This is the band Filter. They're best known for "Hey Man, Nice Shot" and, ironically, "Take My Picture". The cool part about them is that their original drummer left the band in 2002 to join the Army and is currently here at Camp Buehring. His CO got a call from the Secretary of the Navy asking about him before the concert came out here. Needless to say, the CO was a bit surprised. They had no idea that he used to be a member of a successful rock band. By the way, the Army captain on the end is not the member of the band.

The Pussycat Dolls. Unfortunately, since officers are supposed to lead from the front, I had to set the example for the members of my squadron by politely getting my picture taken with them. It was a harsh sacrifice, but somehow I was able to endure. The things I do for my country...

Anyway, that's it for now. I'll post the other pictures later. In the meantime, if you get the chance, visit MySpace.com/operationmyspace to see the concert. Also, give them props for doing something like this. A lot of effort went into it and it was done amazingly well. They really put on a great show for us.

Bahrain, Working Out

Well, I guess another week has gone by and I have failed to write. Sorry about that. Last Thursday I sat down to write the schedule and was informed that I had to plan a flight to Bahrain (about 300 miles away) for myself and 10 other people from the squadron. Bahrain is kind of a good deal trip that the squadron likes to do for the guys to get us out of the fenceline every once in a while. It's a much more progressive Muslim country which means that the guys were able to drink. They were pretty excited about that.

Unfortunately I was on medevac alert Thursday so on Friday morning I had to run back to my trailer, grab a quick shower, pack my stuff and then hurry back to the squadron for the brief. Everything was going really well. We even took off close to our scheduled time (which is pretty tough to do on these flights). It was when we were about 10 minutes out that I realized that I hadn't thrown my bag into the helicopter. I was going into Bahrain with nothing more than the clothes on my back, which happened to be my flight suit. I figured that I could just buy some clothes there to tide myself over. Unfortunately there is a policy there that you cannot leave the base in uniform. Fortunately for me, I was able to borrow some athletic shorts and a "Piggly-Wiggly" shirt from one of the other pilots. Unfortunately for me, it was athletic shorts and a "Piggly-Wiggly" shirt. So I soon found myself in the streets of Bahrain in shorts, a T-shirt, and combat (flight) boots. To make matters worse, there was a giant drawing of a pig on the back of the shirt. In a Muslim country. I promise that I will post pictures of this fantastic outfit at a later time.

Eventually, I was able to go to the exchange on the Navy Base in Bahrain and buy some clothing and toiletries for the rest of the weekend. It was a little overwhelming, honestly. Bahrain is a huge, very cosmopolitan city. I haven't seen anything like it since I left San Diego a year ago. Guam is definately not like that. There was just a lot to take in. It was nice to not be a Camp Beuhring for a while, though. Like I said, pictures to follow.

Now, for the second part of my post, I started a new workout recently and I really like it. If any of you want to take up the challenge, I'll post it here. The reason that I like it is that it's designed to be done when you're on a ship so it does not require special equipment or a lot a space. It's something that you can easily do in the privacy of your own home, but seems to have awesome results. Here it is:

Flight Deck Workout:

100 jumping jacks (50 regular, 50 half (just bringing your elbows up like chicken wings)
10 4-ct standing trunk twists
10 4-ct standing oblique crunches
40 push-ups
10 4-ct press press flings
100 4-ct flutter kicks followed by 50 hello dollies
10 4-ct fore and aft ab stretches
40 push-ups
50 4-ct seated flutter kicks
10 4-ct cherry pickers
40 push-ups - last 5 hold in UP position
10 4-ct up, back, and overs
25 V-ups / Bruce Lees
10 4-ct modified cherry pickers
40 push-ups - last 5 hold in DOWN position
10 4-ct press press flings
25 4-ct seated knee bends
25 4-ct seated bicycle crunches
50 8-ct body builders
20 diamond push-ups
20 finger-tip push-ups
20 wide-arm push-ups

All that is the goal, of course. Start out at about a fourth of that and work your way up. If you don't understand what an excersize is, ask and I'll tell you (if you want a "Mens' Health" style post with step-by-step photos of me doing the excersizes, I wouldn't hold my breath). As for the 50 8-ct body builders, by the time I get to those I'm so tired that I have to strain to get 10. It sounds like a lot, but the whole thing takes easily less that 1/2 hour. I do it every other day and alternate with 30-45 minutes on the stationary bike. Good luck. I think you'll like it, but be prepared to be very, very sore for a while.

Pictures From the Other Side of the Fence

Yesterday I got to go out for a little training up North. We were going up there to give the British medical folks a chance to play with our helicopter and figure out how our litter management system works. Of course we turned it into a big photo op. So here are some of the pictures that we took while we were up there.

In one of my earlier posts I made reference to all the stuff we have to carry with us whenever we cross the border. Well, here I am carrying it all out to the bird before we launched. I've got my CamelBack backpack with a bunch of stuff in it, the kevlar helmet (which we usually don't carry but I needed it because we were going to be walking around at the base we were visiting), my M16 and M9, my night vision goggles, and my flight helmet with my knee-board, pocket checklist, gloves, chart, and navigation book in it. I'm also wearing my body armor with the removable ceramic chest plate and my survival vest.

On deck in Iraq. Unfortunately, for security reasons I can't tell you exactly where we were. Just kidding. (If you don't get it, click on the picture for the full size version).We were a bit surprised to see an Iraqi Airlines plane there. Actually I was kind of surprised that there is an Iraqi airlines. See how small it is compared to my helicopter?

One of the British ambulances. They use this for transporting patients inside the compound. No, there's not really any reason that I'm holding my M16 like that. It spent the rest of the day strapped to my back.
Now this wicked looking piece of machinery behind me, despite looking like it could wreak havoc on a small town, is actually another ambulance. This is what the Brits use for patient care outside the wires. It is one seriously tough vehicle. Again, no real reason for holding the weapon. Actually, in this case it's an M4. You can see the barrel of my M16 sticking out from behind my leg. I guess we like to hold our weapons during photos because then it makes us look tough. Maybe it just answers that age-old question of what to do with your hands during a picture. Plus when you turn it sepia it looks like a real "war photograph":
See what I mean? Without the rifle, it could just be a picture of a guy with a bullet-proof vest standing in front of his seriously up-armored family car.
We got both of the flight crews together to show our colors before we left. The one on the left is the Guam flag (which is pretty convenient because it says "Guam" in the middle of it). The British Captains that had played host to us all day were kind enough to take this photo for us.
After the previous photo, we took the time to properly fold the flag. We like having fun and a lot of the things we do are crazy and at times even silly, but we take great pride in our flag and never forget that too many men and women have paid with their blood to keep her flying.
Ahhh...the flight back home. I took this self-portrait as we were cruising over the deserts of Southern Iraq. I especially like it because of the Matrix-esque reflection in my Maui Jims. If you look closely, you can even see the other pilot.

Cool Stuff

I titled this blog "Cool Stuff" because that's pretty much how I feel right now. I don't know why, but I feel pretty good about things tonight. Maybe it's because I was able to call and talk to Tricia and Michenna today (it was Michenna's birthday so I had to hide in an empty office lest someone hear me singing "Happy Birthday" to her). It may be because I got to fly on two medevacs today (the second one turned into one of the scarier flights I've ever had, but more on that later). Whatever the reason, I think that life is pretty good right now. I really can't complain. I'm married to the most beautiful woman I know, I'm doing the job I've dreamed of having since I was in junior high school, and I'm serving in a warzone saving lives on a regular basis. It's awesome! I really feel blessed. I guess it's true that God watches out for drunks and fools, and while I've never qualified as the former I have more than made up for it with my extreme proficiency at the latter.

Anyway, on to the medevacs. The weather this last week has been absolutely horrible. On a good day, we've had between 1/2 mile and 2 miles of visibility. That sound's pretty good, but it really isn't flying weather. We really like to be able to see where we're going. Things like towers and power lines can sneak up on you really fast when your doing 170 knots ground speed at 300 feet or lower. That and the fact that helicopter pilots in general really dislike flying on instruments. You see, an airplane, if left to its own devices, will continue to fly. In fact, the T-34C that I flew back at the begining of flight school was so stable that you could be in an out of control spin and let go of the controls and the bird would right itself and re-stabilize on its own. Helicopters are a different beast entirely. They do not want to fly, and without constant control inputs (thankfully in the MH-60S a computer makes most of those inputs for us) they will stop flying. That means that it's really easy in bad visibility to literally lose track of which way is up and fly a perfectly good helicopter into the ground. Not a good thing.

Anyway, the point to that happy little flying lesson was that we haven't been flying much at all this week. Generally 2 miles visibility is the minimum at which we will launch, even on a medevac except in the most serious of cases. Well, this morning the visibility was just about there when we got a call for an Army Warrant Officer with serious back problems. They needed us to pick him up from one hospital and take him to an air force base so he could be evac'd to Germany. The visibility was pretty crappy, but it was daylight and actually quite an enjoyable flight. I even got to fly backwards for a little bit coming off the hospital pad (because of the winds) which is something that no airplane can do. Anyway, we got him to the AFB safely and made it home without incident.

The second medevac was a little different. It got called just after sunset and we were going into Iraq to pick up the patient. The visibility was almost as bad as it had been earlier, but at night it was just accentuated. Right after takeoff we started having problems with our navigation systems. Thankfully we were in a formation flight and able to navigate off of our wingman. The biggest concern was that our vertical speed indicator (the gauge that tells us how fast we're climbing or descending) is attached to our nav instruments so it was giving us erroneous readings. It was a practice in crew coordination to keep ourselves aware of our surroundings and keep an eye on the rapidly fading horizon to make sure we were flying safely. We picked up the patient and still could not get our instruments to work properly. The decision was made between the two aircraft that we would both land back at base and have them ground-ambulance the patient the rest of the way. On the way home the visibility became almost non-existant and if not for the fact that we were on night-vision goggles and our wingman was lit up like a Christmas tree it would have been extremely difficult to see anything. There have been very few times when I've been happier to be back on deck safely. Now I know why we spend so long training to do this mission.

Anyway, now that I've probably scared the snot out of Tricia and my mom, I should again emphasize that I am safe and that the Navy has spent a lot of money ensuring that I and those I fly with are prepared to face scary situations and know what to do in them. Maybe that's why I'm in such a good mood. Anyway, now it's time to try to translate my euphoria into some good dreams.

Always on Alert

Well, again due to network issues I have been unable to get into my blog for nearly a week. It's been a very busy week, though. On Monday, I was scheduled to do an instrument flight with the Commanding Officer. Normally instrument flights are about as exciting as waching paint dry. Fate had something entirely different in mind for us that particular afternoon. We were just finishing up our startup checks when base called us over the radio. There was a car accident along one of the highways just outside of the base. They wanted us to go fly overhead and take a look at it. Ironically, the flight surgeon was scheduled to fly with us that day. Anyway, we took off and got coordinates to the crash scene. We flew over it once and didn't see anything too dramatic, but they called us and told us to land and pick up one soldier to medevac to the hospital. We landed in the desert next to the crash sight and then realized how bad it had been. The soldier we picked up had some minor injuries, but the other soldier in the car was DOA. It really stuck in my mind the entire flight down to the hospital. I had to really concentrate on keeping my head in the task at hand. The soldier who died was stationed at the same base I am and there will be a memorial service on Saturday for him.

The next day I was actually on the alert and we got launched twice. The first one was a soldier being evac'd from up north. He was transferred from the other medevac helicopters into ours here and then we took him down south. I don't know what he had, but he was walking. The other call came at 0445. My dreams were interrupted so that we could fly as wing to go up north and pick up a soldier heading south. Thankfully, we only had to tag along for the first portion of the flight so I was back in bed by 0600. Then yesterday I got to fly a very chill training flight out over the desert. Good times were had by all.

Bikes, Corned Beef, and TV Junkies.

Well, it's been a pretty slow week for me. About the most exciting thing that happened to me this week is that I finally got myself a bike. Now, having to walk isn't the end of the world, but it's a lot nicer out here to have some wheeled transportation. Thankfully, since the Navy has been doing this "Air Ambulance" thing for over 4 years now, we've built up quite a collection of abandoned bicycles around the compound from which to choose. Unfortunately, most of them are broken down to varying degrees and so it can be tough to get one that works. Anyway, for the last couple of weeks I've had my eye on a bike that's been sitting on the rack with what appeared to be two flat tires. I'm not much on repairing bicycles and replacement parts are very limited here (the wheels are 26" but the BX sells only 25" and 27" tubes) so I was reluctant to grab it. Finally I decided to take it back to the trailer and see if I couldn't monkey my way through some simple repairs. As it turns out, the tubes didn't need replacing since they were merely low and not actually flat. So I filled them up and now she's mine. She's a beauty, too. I realize that I described the bike I used to have here as too gay for Liberace, but that had nothing on my current ride. It's a metallic lime-green girls beach cruiser complete with flames painted on the frame. I assure you, I will post a pic once I get one. Try to imagine me in my flight suit (don't be overwhelmed by the sheer manliness of that mental image, just flow with it). Now imagine me on a rediculously girly bike riding past about 300 Marines with a dumb smile on my face and singing showtunes. OK, I made up the showtunes part (although, for some reason I think "Meet Me in St. Louis" would be most appropriate), but you can imagine how well that goes.

Tonight's dinner was corned beef. As some of you are already aware, that is very high on my list of favorite things, just after snowflakes that melt on my nose and eyelashes. Anyway, the stuff they make here isn't half bad. It's certainly not like the stuff I have at home, but it's edible. Sadly, they don't serve it with cabbage, the savages. Anyway, today it was considerably better than the first time I had corned beef here last summer when they saw the word "brisquet" on it and decided to smother it in barbecue sauce. Yes, that is as gross as it sounds.

Finally, a bunch of pilots were sitting around the other night when we realized that this place really has turned us into TV junkies. I know that you look forward with eager, almost child-like anticipation to seeing what TV series I'm currently watching and I try not to disappoint, but I'm not the only one out here with that problem. Currently overtaking the squadron like wildfire are copies of all of the seasons of "Lost", "House", "Battlestar Gallactica" (season three comes out on March 18 which is 4 days after my birthday...just a thought), "24", "The Office", "Prison Break", and several other shows. It truly is crazy to see.

Oh yeah, one more thing that the CO wanted me to announce on my blog, though now that I think about it, I'm not sure how he knows about my blog...hmmm....anyway, when people find out I'm a pilot one of the first things they always want to know is "What's your call sign?" I've always been able to say I didn't have one, but there has been a resurgence in call signs here at the 2515th and I finally "drank the Kool-Aid" (if you don't get the historical reference, Google it) and put my callsign on my nametag. I tried to fight it, but it refused to die so here it is: Ike. However, the reasoning behind that call sign is on a need-to-know basis only. Sorry.

A While Between Blogs

Well, it's been over a week since my last blog entry. This time, however, I can't take all the discredit for leaving you hanging. Actually, that honor goes to some ship's captain in the Mediterranean who, if the news is accurate, was lazily dragging his anchor along the sea floor when he severed a couple of fiber-optic cables and cut off a huge swath of Southwest Asia from the internet. It's amazing how quickly you begin to miss such things when they're no longer available. The squadron was going nuts. It happened at the worst possible time. The internet went down on January 31. One day before payday. Thankfully, Tricia is back home paying all our bills, but there were guys who are paying their bills online from here that were really in a panic. Thankfully everything has been restored and now you can once again be treated to my rantings. Aren't you lucky?

It was certainly anything but an uneventful week for me. Since my last entry, I flew three medevacs. Two of them were flying wing for the aircraft that carried the patient into iraq. The other was taking a navy corpsman (not one of ours) who somehow got an air embolism while teaching a bunch of Marines how to hook up an IV. I just can't imagine how that could have happened. He was OK and we got him down to the military hospital without incident. Unfortunately, I can't really say the same for the guy we got called for on Saturday night. We were the wing aircraft flying up to a camp just north of the Iraqi border. The other bird picked up the patient and we started the 45 minute, 100-mile-plus trip to pass him over to another set of medevac copters (Army) who would then take him up to a burn specialist near Baghdad. Unfortunately, shortly after takeoff the guy started sucking down oxygen like it was going out of style and the other bird was running out of O2 bottles. We had some in the back of our helicopter, but the idea of landing two very tempting targets in the middle of Iraq at 2300 didn't really appeal to anyone so we pushed the birds to their performance limits to try to cut down the time as much as possible. They ran out of oxygen on short final into the field to make the switch to the Army birds and the man went into cardiac arrest during the transfer. The Army guys took off and we went to get fuel. As we were fueling up, we heard the Army call back to the tower that they were returning. There was nothing more that could be done for the guy. We fly so much and 99.9% of the flights that we do are relatively uneventful. We start to take for granted the idea that we can save everyone. It's a pretty sad moment when you realize that even with the best technology and intentions, sometimes it's out of your hands.

Anyway, on a happier note, I finally took some photos out here that I can post. I know you're a aquiver with anticipation!

Here I am with my beautiful piece of machinery. No. I'm not referening to AW3 Carathers in the background (though he, too is beautiful). I actually don't remember exactly what day this was, but we were getting ready to fly on one of last weeks training hops. Looking in my logbook, it looks like I flew 05 on the 30th.

This is what happens when a sand storm rolls through. The bright spots are where the flash caught the grains of sand in the air. The photo doesn't really do it justice, but visibility was less than 100 meters and the sky was about the same shade of orange as Mars in that old "Total Recall" movie. Thus we decided to go snap some pictures. Obviously, we had our pick of helicopters to pose with since nobody flies when it gets like this.

Last week I also got a package from Tricia and Michenna which was nice. Packages are always fun to get. Michenna drew this beautiful family portrait on her card to me. As far as I can tell, we're all going to church. Tricia is wearing her red shirt and denim skirt. Michenna has on her favorite pretty pink dress, both nicely accessorized with mathching shoes. Apparently I'm wearing my best pair of shorts and a clip-on tie. I also realize that that's a shoe-lace and not a high-heeled shoe I'm wearing. I hope. Anyway, this picture is now hanging on the fridge in my trailer because I thought that it was really cool.

One AM and not on watch.

Well, I find myself sitting in front of the computer here at work at 0100 in the morning on a night when I'm not even on watch. I'm actually on one of the standby alert crews and I had a perfectly good episode of house interrupted by the cell phone calling me into work. You should see the smile on my face!

Anyway, as some of you may have noticed, I've placed a link to the Allen family blog that Tricia is maintaining from Guam. You should check it out. It makes for wonderful reading and I promise that is more interesting than my ramblings. They even apparently met the Broncos' cheerleaders the other day. It figures. I was living in South America the two years they won the Super Bowl and now when they decide to randomly visit Guam (GUAM!) it happens to be while I'm off island.

We're not entirely destitute out here. Just last week Scarlett Johansen was here at Camp Beuhring signing autographs and taking pictures with the troops. Unfortunately I was on 1st Up duty (no more than 200 feet away from our helicopter for 24 hours) so I wasn't able to go admire her....acting abilities....in person. Some of the guys went up there, though and said that she was very nice.

I was supposed to fly today. Twice! Unfortunately, due to mechanical problems those two flights turned to none. I was going to say they quickly turned to none, but the truth is that when you spend 11 hours sitting around the squadron waiting for the word that your helicopter is ready to go time really doesn't go by that quickly. I did get to watch the 2006 remake of the classic horror flick "The Omen". I'm never sure why modern film makers think that it's a good idea to take an absolute classic, throw modern actors into it, then re-film it almost scene for scene. It wasn't a bad movie, I'm just not sure why they made it. It was really nowhere nearly as scary as the original. I'll have to watch that one again sometime to be sure.

Another week gone by.

Well, it's been (roughly) one week since my last post. It's been a fairly fun-filled week, but I'll get to that later.

First, I need to quickly address some issues I've been seeing in my email and in the comments section of the blog. This may be unpleasant, but it has to happen. I do not now, nor at any time in the future will I have the mustache again. I am as clean shaven as the day I was born. It's not that I have anything against mustaches. Frankly there are a few people out there who look good with a little under-nose hair. I think my step-dad looks great with it. Many of history's greatest tyrannical dictators just wouldn't have been the same without theirs. Stalin even famously had a guy imprisoned for making reference to his. Unfortunately, I happen to fall into the other 99.87% of males who suffer from the malady of "if I grow a mustache, I will only end up looking like someone who would attract a police escort within 100 yards of a junior high." Most men with this unfortunate condition are also cursed with a family who is supportive enough to stand behind them quietly while they go through their little Burt Reynolds stages. Thankfully, I am not. I did find it odd last time that all of the 'stache supporters were anonymous (with the exception of Michenna, but I'm pretty sure she just liked it because Tricia didn't) while the haters were very public and open with their opposition. So long story short (too late!) the 'stache is dead.

Next item for the soapbox: I really appreciate everyone writing to expound on my virtues as an essayist. However, as everyone who really knows me will know, I am a shy, introverted person by nature and tend to get uncomfortable when praised so lavishly. Regardless of how true it may be or how deserved such praise (and much, much more) really is. I guess in other words, you're making me blush and it's embarrasing.

All right, on to this week's activities. On Monday night we went out on a training flight to try to hone my tactical flying skills. Unfortunately we were forced to return to base about a fourth of the way into the flight because for some reason the fuel fumes in the back were bad enough that our second crewman was feeling nautious (sp?). Now, the 60S is a beautiful piece of fine machinery and for the most part is fairly fume-free, but there is always some smell since the aerodynamics of the air flow around the engine tend to push the exhaust fumes directly back into the cabin in all but the highest-speed flight regimes. This time, however it was a little more than we were used to dealing with. So we turned around and came home. No harm, no foul.

About 2 hours later I was called back in from my trailer because the 1st Up crew was launching on a medevac and we needed to go stand 2nd Up while they were gone. The medevac they launched on was from the clinic right next to the trailers so the helicopter flew right over me on their way to the pad. I decided to stop to watch them land -- I know I do it for a living, but it still gives me a thrill to be around these machines. I quickly realized my mistake as I watched the dust cloud from the rotor-wash come screaming toward me and ended up swallowing about a pound of the desert's finest. It was still cool to see them land, once I could see again.

At about 2300 they informed us that we would have to come back in again the next day at 0500. This time we would actually be the ones flying into Iraq to do the medevac. Now, I love flying, but doing so while sleep-deprived is not high on my list of favorite activities. Thankfully the flight was uneventful and I was able to go home and sleep afterword. Then last night I was on the PM watch and got to watch the Kentucky - Tennessee basketball game on TV. I really didn't care who won, but it was good background noise and it turned out to be a great game.

While I was on watch I was unable to feed my latest addiction. As you may recall from my first trip to Happyland, we fight boredom here with no less resolve than Davy Crockett at the Alamo (the heroic Davy, not the cowardly one some historians think may be more acurate). During the last trip I got caught up in "Battlestar Gallactica" and "Entourage" to pass the time. This time around I got my hands on the first season of "House" and may never be the same. If you've never seen it (as I hadn't before I got here) I would recommend giving it a try.

All right. That's my update for now. So until next time something exciting happens, I hope that you're all doing well. Take care.

5AM and All's Well

Well loyal readers. I know that you breathlessly anticipate every word my nimble fingers type on this here blog so I try not to disappoint. Tonight I've been on watch all night. It's been a quiet night which seems to be the kind I always draw. I'm by no means complaining, but I'd like the opportunity at least once to wake everyone up by yelling "medevac, medevac, medevac" into the radios.

For tonight's entertainment, since there was no football on, we began the evening by watching some of the first season of lost. After that we progressed to "The Manchurian Candidate" and now "3:10 to Yuma" which I've already seen. There are certainly times when fighting terrorism takes a back seat to fighting boredom.

I take great comfort in the fact that in about 3 hours I will be sleeping peacefully back at my trailer. This will throw my sleep schedule off, but I'll get over it. I probably won't get breakfast today, but I don't get breakfast any day to be honest. Unfortunately it comes down to one of two scenarios. Either I have to be to work really early in the morning in which case I opt for the extra 45 minutes of sleep I would have to sacrifice in order to eat breakfast or else I don't have to be to work really early in the morning in which case I don't wake up in time to eat breakfast. All right, all right. I can hear those of you out there who know me shouting that I haven't actually eaten breakfast since the first President Bush was in office and you're right, but I'm desperate for something to write here.

Ironically enough, right as I was finishing up that last paragraph, AW2 Crisp (the enlisted watchstander) walked in with a box of breakfast burritos for me. Very nice! It's giving me a chance to try the bottle of "Kick'n Kajun" Habanero Hot Sauce that I've been eyeing on top of the squadron fridge for a while. I haven't the faintest idea how long it's been sitting there, but hot sauce only gets better with age, right?

Medevac. Taste it again...for the first time.

Well, last night was my first medevac since I got here. It was ten o'clock at night and I was just about to ponder the depths of reality and the insides of my eyelids when my crewchief walked into the room and said that we were getting ready to launch. There was a soldier at one of the bases in Iraq who was having some eye problems and needed to be moved to a larger hospital to get treated.

So I jumped out of bed and threw on my long-johns (it was about 2 degrees C) and my flight suit. I then grabbed my helmet, body armor, M-16, 9mm, and night-vision goggles and stumbled out to my awaiting chariot. By this point in time I looked like a cross between G.I. Joe and that poor little bugger from "A Christmas Story" who can't put his arms down for all the layers he's wearing. Once at the bird, I started up our auxilary generator and started to get myself settled for a long night. I was flying with our Executive Officer (2nd down on my chain of command below only the CO) so I was being very careful not to mess anything up.

About 10 minutes later we launched into a starry desert sky for the first leg of our journey. The skills that I had developed on my last trip out here (flying in formation, etc.) proved to be very perishable and the late hour was not helping much. I felt like I was about 30 seconds behind the aircraft and trying to catch up. Thankfully, the XO was anticipating this and was carefully watching to make sure that I didn't do anything too crazy. I felt like I had gone from the IR list straight to the varsity team.

The flight was pretty uneventful and the soldier got to where he needed to be safely. We had a pretty kicking tailwind on the way back home so I was able to get back to my bunk and continue my comunion with my eyelids before too long. And commune I did.

Back...to the Desert

That's right. I'm officially back in Kuwait now. The Air Ambulance det is pretty much the same as when I left it last. Because I was already out here once I don't have to do all of the area flights again in order to be on the alert so I'll be starting to fly the alert early next week. I would be on it sooner, but I'm trying to squeeze it so that I'm on the ODO watch tomorow night so that I can see the football games. One of the advantages to being the guy who writes the flight schedule every day, I guess.

Anyway, this time the government travel folks were generous enough to ensure that we spent some quality time in exotic locations on the way out here. I got to spend a joyous 12 hours in Nagoya, Japan. The good news about that particular stop-over is that we were able to leave the airport and see a little bit of the town. Of course, the fact that I could write every Japanese word I know on the back of a postage stamp definitely limited my ability to see a whole lot. We basically stayed within about a 100 yard radius of the train station for fear of getting so turned around that we wouldn't be able to make it back.

After our time in Nagoya we hopped on our follow up flight to Dubai, United Arab Emirates. The flight was an overnighter where I spent 13+ hours cursing my inability to fall asleep on airplanes and perusing Emirate Airlines movie selection.

Aside - American air lines (not the company, just American carriers in general) can't hold a candle to the foreign air lines I've been able to fly since I got out to Guam. If you want good food, friendly service, and comfortable seats I highly recomend the foreign guys.

Anyway, I watched "3:10 to Yuma" shortly after take-off. It wasn't a bad movie as far as Westerns where very bad guys and reluctant good guys spend 90 minutes shooting at each other are concerned. I'm not entirely sure what the plot was, but I think it had something to do with water and trains. Or maybe it was horses and milk...In all fairness, I was watching the airline-edited version (which had some of the best dubbing I've seen) so for all I know they cut out the scene where the plot was explained. Anyway, it was very well made and the acting was quite good.

When we reached Dubai, we were ecstatic (sp?) to find that we would be enjoying another 8 hours in that fine city before we took off for Kuwait City. We were somewhat less thrilled to learn that we wouldn't be allowed to leave the airport because they only allowed that for people with greater than 8 hours of layover. Luckily, after wandering aimlessly through the terminal for about an hour we found an Irish Pub in the middle of the airport and were able to pass the next 7 hours there. It was quite the authentic Irish pub, except for the fact that it was decorated for some reason like a fishermen's wharf and the three beers they had on tap -- not for me, but the other pilot I was with was getting his last rounds in since Kuwait allows no alcohol -- were Dutch, Australian, and German.

After that, it was pretty smooth sailing to Kuwait. One thing I am greatful for is that we arrived in Kuwait at 4:30 in the afternoon which is infinitely better than getting here at 4:30 AM like last time.

Anyway, now for the desert. The hot, sandy wasteland that I left (see my previous posts referencing various things melting to various other things) is now a cold, wet, sandy wasteland. The temperatures that we used to see in Celsius are now available to us in Farenheit. I. E., instead of being 45 degrees C (about 113 F) in the afternoon, it now peaks at about 45 F. And it rains. I think I prefered it when it was hot. At least the heaters in our rooms work well.

Well, kids, that's about all that I have for now. I've gotta get back to writing the schedule, or at least pretending to.